Eyes of Clouds and Shadows
by Peace-Love-Yaoi
Summary: Shikamaru and Neji both have broken hearts. When they agree to casual sex, will it turn into more than they imagined? *WARNING* graphic yaoi male/male pairing Don't like? Don't read!


Hero Heroine

Eyes of Clouds and Shadows

Great News! I got a beta, so thanks to Feathersinmyhair my stories can be that much better!

Shikamaru watched him, constantly. He couldn't keep his stare away from the boy with clouds for eyes. He knew what it was that made him feel this way, it was infatuation. He had experienced it before. Because he accepted his obsession with the Hyuuga, it was too late to change things now. His obsession would last until he had Neji in his bed, and he hoped that it would end there. Some part of his subconscious laughed at him and whispered "You wish…"

Shikamaru sighed, "So troublesome…" Deep down he knew that his obsession with the beautiful ninja wouldn't end with bedding him. In fact, it would only be the beginning of what was to be so much more than mere infatuation.

_  
--_

Cloud watching was the only thing that brought the many quick spinning wheels in Shikamaru's head to a halt. The clouds were so peaceful and soft. He always watched the clouds in the middle of a field, so that his eyes would not see the shadows that lurked beneath the canopies of the trees. He envied the clouds and their peaceful existence. They never had to worry about work or troublesome white-eyed boys, they only had to float and go where the wind carried them.

Lately however, Shikamaru couldn't enjoy his beloved clouds. They only sought to remind him of the Hyuuga, which made wheels in his head spin double-time creating and perfecting plans on how to get Neji alone, and how to approach the situation from that point. His strategy wasn't going to be able to help him in this situation. There were no numbers to crunch or odds to calculate. Everything was 50/50 and every plan he had ever made could come crashing down if the Hyuuga didn't return his feelings. Interdependency, depending on each other, mutually dependent elements. Troublesome white-eyed boy… "Too bad about my heart being completely off limits, or I could probably fall in love with a beautiful young man like him." Shikamaru thought to himself as he pondered the event that had put his heart in a vise, and squeezed until it broke._  
_

_--_

Neji Hyuuga had never been so disconcerted by a single person. Shikamaru Nara, the boy with shadows for eyes, had him going out of his mind with questions. He often caught the Shadow wielder watching him. Everytime that he caught the Nara staring at him, the boy never looked away. He always stared directly into his eyes, unashamed about getting caught. Neji sometimes wondered if it was some kind of challenge. However, the intensity made his black stare seem more like an invitation than a challenge. Neji shivered, pondering what kind of invitation the Nara was extending. "I want him." Neji had realized this truth quite some time ago and now it was the forerunning thought in his head all the time.

Why did the intense stare of one Shikamaru Nara make him wonder what the same eyes would look like glazed over with passion? He wanted Shikamaru, he wanted him in a way that he had never wanted anyone else, male or female. He wanted Shikamaru to take him. He wanted to feel the Nara buried deep inside him. He wanted to feel Shikamaru come, and he wanted to know that it was for him, and him alone. He wanted the male's hands tangled in his long chestnut hair as he made love to him. Most of all, and Neji didn't want to admit this because it scared him more than anything else, he wanted to hold the shadow nin, after their passion. He wanted to sleep on his chest, and wake up to shadow eyes._  
_

_--_

Neji's performance in his training was being affected by his thoughts of the Nara, and he had come close to losing to Lee more than once. He was currently losing because he was thinking of the smile that Shikamaru had given him that morning. It had not been a happy smile, it was a lustful smile full of promises that Neji knew the Nara could fulfill. His mind spun with the possibilities of sex with Shikamaru. He knew two things for sure. The two of them were going to have sex, and it was going to be earth-shattering, life-altering pleasure.

Neji was still immersed in his thoughts when he was struck in the ribs with a jab from Lee. He decided he was tired of sparring and moved in for the kill. He took him down quickly and efficiently putting his legs in a temporary paralyzed state. He moved to the side, and sat down, leaning against the base of a tree. "If I was still able to love, I would choose to love Shikamaru Nara, the young man with shadow eyes and a smile full of erotic promises. Yes… I think I would've liked to have had him for my own." Neji thought.

_  
--_

There was one thing that Shikamaru was willing to give up his laziness for, and that was to shield his heart. Nobody knew it, but his heart had long ago been broken. He hid his pain well with lazy smiles, and a natural nonchalance. It had been Kiba Inuzuka, two summers ago; they had had a relationship, more than a relationship to Shikamaru who had loved the boy with all his heart. Kiba had only ever said that he loved Shikamaru when they had sex. Shika knew that the other boy didn't feel as strongly for him, but he had been naive, and believed that the boy would grow to love him outside the bedroom.

No one in the village knew about their affair. And to this day their affair remained a secret. Kiba had been using Shikamaru to cheat on his boyfriend Shino, who didn't trust Kiba enough to sleep with him. Once Shino decided that he was ready to give his body to Kiba, Kiba had come to Shikamaru and told him that he would …no longer require Shikamaru's services... Shikamaru had been crushed, and had made a promise never to love anyone else ever again. He would never place his heart in another person's hands, just so it could be torn to pieces.

_  
--_

Neji Hyuuga was resolute in the fact that he would never fall in love again. He had been broken, and he wasn't fixable. All he would ever have again was the illusion of love that sex provided. He whispered 'I love you' into the ears of all his anonymous lovers, and one-night-stands. He meant it too, in that moment he loved them, they were the closest thing to love he would ever feel again, so he loved them. He loved all his sexual partners for bringing him as close to that forbidden feeling as he was willing and able to go.

It had all started with a kiss. A perfectly innocent and chaste kiss. Kakashi Hatake, the copy ninja, a legend among ANBU members. Neji however was willing to bet that all the Black Ops members who worship the copy ninja don't know about his little problem. By little problem, he meant sexual attraction to teenaged boys. Kakashi had known all the things to say to make Neji feel comfortable, to make him feel like he was understood. Neji had been willing to give his body to the beautiful man, a man he had loved, one who he had believed had loved him in return. It's crazy how wrong you can be about a person.

After he had given his body to Kakashi, a very painful experience, especially since Kakashi had not stretched him, and had used nothing but his own saliva for lubrication. Neji's virgin entranced had been stretched beyond its limits, and he was left bleeding once Kakashi had had his way with him. The next day, when Neji had gone to see the man, he was turned away with the words 'You're used, why would I want a worthless little slut like you, I've had you already.' Neji then promised that he would never love again. He put on his stoic mask, and pushed his way through life, occasionally catching glimpses of the copy ninja, which only served to break his heart further.

__

Shikamaru only ever had sexual relationships nowadays, most lasting just one night. He'd had more than one tell him that he was a keeper, and try to pull him into their lives. He told them all the same thing, he wasn't, nor would he ever be, looking for a relationship with them, he would thank them for the sex, and send them packing. He wasn't the type for idle chit-chat. He was a get in, get out, and get on with your life kind of guy. No matter how many times he was approached about a relationship, he always said no, gave them his 'not interested' speech, and sent them away.

He wanted something with Neji, whether it was just sex or something more he wasn't sure. He knew that Neji was different than all the other nameless, faceless fucks he'd had over the years. He was beautiful and deadly, and Shika wanted nothing more than to make love to him, not fuck, but make love.

_--_

Neji knew that he was good-looking, how could he not when everyone he met told him so. He even had his own fanclub. He had a strict policy not to sleep with anyone in the fanclub. He was a very polite young man, which was part of the reason that he had most of these weirdoes following him around. Maybe it was just because of the things Kakashi had said to him, or maybe it was because of his raising, the Hyuugas were big on manners. Neji didn't care what they thought, he was exiled as soon as he came out saying he was gay.

People took Neji for shy, when he was just mild-mannered; this for some reason made others thinks that he could be bullied into a relationship. It was when people got too assertive with their affections that his rude self came out. H would tell them as honestly as he could that he wasn't available, and that he would never be. He had to admit however, he wished he could be available for Shikamaru.

_  
--_

Both knew that the other wasn't interested in a relationship, which is what made their transaction so easy. Neji wanted Shikamaru, and vice-versa. They were in it for the sex, and nothing else. Neji needed that feeling, the fake love that came with sex, and Shikamaru needed to reassure himself that he was not going to fall, that he could have sex without being a weak and pathetic idiot who fell for the first good looking guy to look his way.

As soon as Shikamaru saw the excitement shine in Neji's eyes, he knew that this was going to be a true test of his will. He wouldn't fall in love, not this time.

Neji knew this was different, he was already feeling the love illusion. He wondered how strong it would get once they had sex, he hoped that he would be able to resist the Nara if any unwanted feelings were to occur. He fell for that feeling before, but not this time. __

--

All Shikamaru had to do was not think too hard about it, he had to ignore how different Neji's tongue was running along his jaw line, and trailing wet kisses down his neck. He had to forget that this was special and focus on the fact that he was with a sexual partner, and that's all it was to him. It was not his place to question Neji's motives, but he wondered why the ninja had agreed so easily to casual sex. He tried to think of Neji as another nameless, faceless fuck to add to his list. It didn't work, he knew that this was different. He decided to take the route of the cloud, and just float wherever the wind took him.

Shikamaru pushed Neji back onto his bed, and began to touch the Hyuuga back in full force, pulling him into a French kiss. He shuddered at the taste of Neji, and his scent thick in his nostrils. He pulled away and continued his pursuits with kisses and bites on the sensitive flesh of his collarbone., freeing Neji of his shirt, he assaulted his nipple with his tongue and teeth. Sucking and biting it gently until Neji's breathing became uneven gasps.

_--  
_Neji squirmed in pleasure at the feeling of Shikamaru's hot mouth on his sensitive nipple. He had never had this kind of reaction to a lover before. No one had ever driven him this mad with lust. He had half a mind to just jump the shadow nin on the spot, but he refrained, and kept himself in control by gripping handfuls of Shika's jacket.

He finally got himself under control, and reached down between their bodies to rub the bulge in Shikamaru's pants, the Nara immediately released the nipple and gasped, his hips jerking upward into the hand massaging his stiff erection through the fabric of his pants. Neji made quick work of Shikamaru's pants and reached inside his boxers to take a hold of his erection. He started to stroke him, his thumb stimulating the tip. The sounds Shikamaru was making were those of pure pleasure. Neji wanted to see the expression of the man who was making such beautiful sounds. He took a deep breath and prepared to have his resolve shaken. He looked up and into the eyes of the man he was pleasuring. The look on his face was that of pure, unadulterated bliss. Neji's resolve was not only shaken, it was shattered and thrown away.

_--_

Neji crashed his lips to those of Shikamaru Nara putting all his passion and pent up emotions into that single kiss. He pushed his tongue past the teeth of his fellow ninja and into his warm mouth. Neji moaned at the contact, he had lost all inhibitions the second he looked into the Nara's eyes. He explored the other's mouth and tasted every corner and crevice. He came to the conclusion that Shikamaru was delicious, and so very dangerous. This boy was going to break him again, but Neji couldn't bring himself to stop.

Neji broke away from the kiss, and began undoing the buttons on Shikamaru's top with his teeth, all the time moving lower and lower toward his final destination. When Shikamaru reached his hand forward to brush the hair from Neji's eyes, Neji caught his finger between his lips and pulled it into his mouth. He ran his tongue along the underside, then swirled his finger around the tip slowly, giving Shikamaru a preview of what was to come. He felt the erection in his hand pulse, and released the finger from his mouth. He brought his mouth to the last button, accidentally-on-purpose running his tongue over the tip, tasting Shikamaru's precum. He moaned as the taste that was half salt, half Shikamaru, and completely delicious.

All at once, he slid his mouth all the way down Shika's shaft, easily sliding him into his throat so that the entire length was in his mouth. Neji, fortunately didn't have a gag reflex, so he bypassed the back of his throat easily. He slowly pulled back, and made his way back down that hard shaft. He got into a steady rhythm, holding the heavy erection up at the base. He wanted to taste Shikamaru, but he wanted the Nara on top of him, pushing into him.

_  
--_

Shikamaru had never seen a more erotic sight than Neji sucking him off taking him all the way down his throat, then releasing him. His moans grew louder with every passing second. When Neji pulled away, Shikamaru made a small noise of complaint, but knew that there was something so much better was coming. He removed Neji's pants, and sexy bikini brief underwear to expose the ninja fully to his hungry gaze. Neji reached up and pushed Shika's shirt and jacket off of his shoulders, and pushed his boxers down as far as he could with Shika kneeling on the bed. Shika kicked them the rest of the way off.

Shikamaru reached into the nightstand by the bed and pulled out a bottle of lube. Shikamaru looked at Neji shyly, and asked, "Can I watch you stretch yourself?" He blushed furiously, but keping eye contact with Neji, who smiled and nodded. He took the bottle from the shadow-wielder and read the label, it said 'warming lubricant'. Neji frowned; he had never used this kind before, and didn't know how it would feel. He poured a generous amount on 3 of his fingers, coating them. He then kneeled on the bed, his back to Shikamaru, whom he planned to give a real show. He pushed the first finger into his tight entrance. He couldn't help but notice the difference in feeling from the lubrication, it heated the skin that it touched, making it relax, Neji had never stretched himself so easily before, he gave the Nara credit for thinking of it. Shikamaru groaned at the sight of Neji pushing the first finger inside of himself. He quickly followed it with a second finger, stretching himself even further. When Neji added the third finger, he moaned, which made Shikamaru's cock jump in response. Neji finally said the words Shikamaru had been waiting for. "I'm ready."

Shikamaru spread a fair amount of the lube on his erection, then placed himself at Neji's entrance. He pushed slowly into Neji, making the boy squirm in pain/pleasure beneath him. "Ahh… you're so… big." Neji had never bottomed for someone as big as Shikamaru.

"You say the nicest things."

When Shika was finally all the way inside the older ninja he waited, it was all he could do not to take the Hyuuga right there. Finally Neji nodded his head and began to pull himself forward, and pushed back. Shikamaru allowed him to do this briefly entranced as he watched the Hyuuga impale himself his large member. Shika decided that he could take no more. He grabbed Neji's hips, and slammed as hard and as deep as he could into the smaller ninja. Eliciting a moan of pleasure as he immediately struck his prostate. 'How could he not with a dick that size?' Neji wondered briefly before Shika slammed into him again making him lose all train of thought. Shika's thrusts became harder and faster, until they were both panting and moaning unabashedly. "I'm going to come!"

"Come with me then." Shika panted, reaching around and fisting the other's hard erection in time with his thrusts. Neji came just before Shika, the contraction of his muscles proved too much for Shika who pushed all the way in one last time, filling the Hyuuga with his essence.

_  
--_

After their sexual encounter, Neji and Shikamaru did not speak for almost 3 weeks. Both had felt the connection that was more than purely physical, which was why they had been avoiding each other like the plague.

Neji had left pretty abruptly after they were done, declining the offer to stay the night. He made his way home, and as soon as he walked through the door he fell to his knees, sobs ripping brokenly from his lips. He felt tears streak slowly down his face, cold against his flushed cheeks. Suddenly the floodgate opened and all the thoughts of Kakashi that he kept locked away resurfaced, only adding to his sobs. He picked himself up, still shaking and went to his bed, he ripped his clothes from his body, not caring if they were damaged or torn. He laid in his bed, hugged a pillow crying out all his anger and hate, but mostly he cried because he knew that he loved the Nara, and that was unacceptable. The man had made it clear that all he wanted was a physical relationship.

He thought back on the very first time he had ever seen Shikamaru. He remembered that the boy had seemed bored, surrounded by all his boisterous classmates. Neji remembered wanting to talk to the boy, find out what was wrong, why he would make such a serious face while surrounded by such joyous classmates. It was then that Neji realized he did the exact same thing Shikamaru was doing, putting up his stoic mask. As Neji watched him, he saw his eyes flicker constantly to the Inuzuka brat. Neji was jealous, and members of the Hyuuga clan did not get jealous. He knew that he had no right to be jealous, he didn't even know the boy, and he had Kakashi. "Oh, Kakashi… what did you do to me?" he asked himself out loud.

__

After Neji left, Shikamaru made his way to the shower to wash off the remnants of their night together. He found himself reluctant to wash away the last sign of his claim on Neji. He mentally panicked, he had felt this way before, with Kiba… He knew he was done for. He was in love with Neji Hyuuga. "Why me?" He stepped into the shower and washed his body, saddened when he had to wash away the traces of Neji. He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, made his way to his bed and collapsed.

Neji's scent assaulted him as soon as he hit the bed. Tears sprang to his eyes as his memories haunted him, memories of Kiba and his rough treatment of Shikamaru's feelings. He remembered his and Kiba's last conversation…

"Kiba, I missed you."

"Yes, I'm sure"

"You said you needed to see me?" Shika asked wringing his hands.

"I'm sorry—well actually I'm not, but I will no longer require your services since Shino has decided he's ready to take our relationship to the next level."

"Services?" Was he fucking kidding?

"Look Nara, I don't want to fuck you anymore. Clear enough?"

"Sure." He tried to sound nonchalant, but the tears in his eyes gave him away.

"You are never to tell Shino what we did! Is that understood?"

"Whatever, you're too troublesome." Shikamaru turned his back on his fellow ninja and walked away, heading home where he could cry without anyone seeing.

_--_

Neji knew he couldn't take it anymore; he had to see the Nara again. He needed to have some kind of relationship with him, even if it was only sex. He broke down, and went to Shikamaru's flat. When the lazy ninja opened the door, Neji lunged at him kissing him roughly. Shoving his tongue into Shika's mouth he slammed him against the wall. Neji pulled away only to realize that he was crying. He kicked the door shut and assaulted the Nara again. This time Shikamaru pushed him away. "What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you right now. Please…Shika, I need you inside me now."

Shikamaru didn't want to go into things before he knew what was wrong, but Neji was in no place to be hassled, he would tell him in due time. For now however, Shika was painfully erect, and Neji was begging him to do what he had wanted to do for three weeks, since their first encounter. Shikamaru nodded and let Neji take control again. The hasty Hyuuga ripped their clothes off and pushed Shikamaru into the living room. He shoved the man down onto a large leather chair. He got down on his knees and slickened Shika's member with his saliva. Neji then straddled the younger and impaled himself on Shikamaru's throbbing erection. Neji ignored the pain, and began to ride Shika as fast and hard as he could. This time Shikamaru came first, yelling Neji's name. Neji came when he heard Shikamaru yell his name in ecstasy. Neji collapsed on top of Shika, sweaty and breathless. Shika nudged the exhausted boy on top of him, when his tear streaked face turned up Shika kissed him.

"Let's take a shower and go to bed." Neji nodded and got up, discovering that his backside was hurting more than he had originally thought. Shikamaru pulled his sore lover up into his arms, bridal style and headed off to clean them up.

_  
--_

"Are you ready to talk about why you were crying?"

"Not really."

"Well, we're going to talk about it."

"It's a really long and embarrassing story." Neji confirmed

"Hit me."

Neji went on to explain how Kakashi had used him, then tossed him aside. He cried, and Shikamaru held him, letting the older soak his shirt with his tears. By the time Neji was through he was crying so hard that Shika could barely understand him. "I… I tried s-so hard to p-p-lease him, but he hu-hu-rt me." Neji sobbed into his chest, Shikamaru held him and whispered things that he wished someone had said to him after Kiba had left. Now that Neji had opened up the gate, it seemed that he couldn't close it.

"I wasn't okay, I'm NOT okay. But you make me feel okay again Shikamaru! You make me feel… loved. I know you're not interested in a relationship, but that's okay! I just want to be around you, I need to have you, I've been dying these last three weeks waiting for another chance to see you! Please don't leave me alone again."

"Neji, as long as I live you will never be alone again."

It took Neji a few seconds to realize what Shika was saying. Then it dawned on him, Shikamaru wanted him… he was never going to be alone ever again!

_  
--_

Shikamaru looked at Neji's ecstatic face. 'I have never seen him smile, he's so beautiful.'

"Neji, I want to tell you about Kiba…" Neji looked at him, his eyebrows pulling together.

"Yes?"

"He is the reason I am so broken."

"What did he do to you?" Neji looked murderous.

Shikamaru smiled at Neji's protective nature. He told Neji of Kiba, and their affair. He told him about Shino, and Kiba's warning. It was now the Nara's turn to cry. His grief wracked his body, he was shaking and hot tears left blazing trails down his face. The two of them laid there holding each other for the rest of the night. __

--

The next morning when Neji woke up, he was extremely warm and comfortable. He didn't want to get out of bed. All of the sudden he realized that he was not alone, all the comfy-warmth was coming from a sleeping Shikamaru Nara. He jumped up and out of bed before he remembered the events of last night.

Shikamaru looked over at the stunned-looking Hyuuga, he groaned and turned over.

"Morning Sunshine!" Neji chimed enthusiastically.

"So noisy…"

"Wake up! We have to train!"

"Time?"

"It's 9:24, now get up!"

"Wake me in 3 hours."

Neji proceeded to jump on the bed, and shake Shikamaru. He felt close to the other after the events of last night, close enough to joke and play in this manner.

"It is too early for you to be so troublesome…"

Neji got a great idea, he left to go to the bathroom. Once he was in the bathroom, he searched through Shika's cabinets until he found the bottle he was looking for, a small bottle of lube in one of the bathroom drawers. He proceeded to stretch himself carefully, and completely. He grabbed the small bottle of lube and went back to the bedroom. One look at the Nara, who was sleeping with his hands behind his head revealed that he had "morning wood." Neji smiled, and crawled slowly onto the bed, so as not to disturb the sleeping figure. He pulled the blankets down, and fished Shika's cock gingerly out of his pants. He poured some of the lube onto the erection, crawled on top of his lover and sat directly on Shika's engorged member taking him in all the way to the base.

Shikamaru woke up the instant he entered Neji. He was awoken by the exact sequence of events that he was dreaming about. Neji rode him hard. "Wake Up." He whispered to the half asleep Shikamaru as he rode him into consciousness.

"I could get used to this."

"You won't get used to anything unless you wake up now."

"Okay." He sighed, opening his eyes.

Suddenly Neji got serious. "I love you, Shikamaru Nara."

"I love you too, Neji Hyuuga." He said, equally as solemn.

**Review and let me know what you think. What can I improve on for my next story? Can't wait to hear from you guys!**


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